We all have our comfort zones. The things we do that don’t push us to our limit of what we can take. Some things come easy to us and some things are difficult. God wants to challenge us, to grab our hand and lead us into our zone of discomfort. Once we let that happen, he’s the only thing we can rely on. It’s a scary place to be, but you feel a calm and peace even though in the back of your mind you feel like you may have made the craziest and possibly worst decision of your life.
That’s where I am today. Living with the tiniest little baby I’ve ever seen. If you know me at all, you know babies aren’t my cup of tea. I love kids when they get to be about 8 months, when they can move around and play and laugh and are not so fragile. Despite this fact, this sweet little five month old girl is now the newest resident in our house.
We met her a few days ago. Her brother Alex, has been living at a children’s home, run by my friend Leila for two years. When they found him he was in bad shape, so they got him treatment and took him to live at their home. His mom was healthier at the time and was always moving and has no phone so we hadn’t heard from her in a while.
By chance we made our way down to Kipsongo on Tuesday. It wasn’t a part of our plan for the day, but it was certainly a part of God’s plan for our day.We were going there just to check on a few other kids when we heard Alex’s mother Ida was back and not doing so well. They brought her up to see us and she was so weak she could barely walk. Her feet had huge open sores and she was emaciated. We made our way in the rain down to their little mud hut. I don’t know if words could describe how terrible the scene was in that house. Ida couldn’t stand on her own and was slouched against the wall. She is nothing but skin and bones herself and doesn’t even have the strength or the will to be able to carry her children.
There was a little naked baby lying on the floor, wrapped in a sweater screaming and a four year old just quietly standing and looking around.
There were no plates, no dishes, no cups, not a sign of food in the house. They didn’t even have a mattress to sleep on.
After living here for almost two years I’ve seen so many people living in heart breaking situations. I thought that I was almost numb to it, that no situation would ever bring me to tears. I was a mess. I was fighting back tears the entire time and my hands wouldn’t stop shaking. This woman is HIV+, so sick and she has given up on herself and her children. She was drunk, weeping uncontrollably and complaining about her laundry being dirty. I was looking at two starving kids and all she could talk about was herself. She didn’t even bother to name her five month old child because she has gotten to such a desperate place that the only thing she knows how to do is to numb her pain with alcohol.
In the Bible, God lead His people with pillars of fire and clouds today He does the same. God brought me there that day for a reason. I couldn’t leave her there. As much as it terrified me to sweep this little one up in my arms and take her home I knew that was exactly why God had brought me there. I had no money to spend that day and we had everything we needed. Imagine having baby clothes, diapers, formula, bottles, blankets literally everything and not having to spend a single dime. God was making himself clear. Grabbing me by the hand and leading me forward into the wilderness, promising to be with me every step of the way.
So we took this little baby to the house to stay with us. We named her Stephanie. It’s only been two days and she already looks so much better. She is drinking milk and porridge constantly and catching up on her sleep. She is an easy going little girl that just needs love and care. As long as her belly is full she is content and doesn’t cry.
I am thankful that God is using someone so small to make my faith grow so big. I am thankful that He loves me enough to play such an active role in my life and thankful that He cares even for the smallest of children living in the most forgotten places in this world.
Please pray for Stephanie and the rest of her family still living in Kipsongo. Pray that the Lord will guide our next steps and show us how he wants us to help Ida and her other daughter Selina.
I wish I could sweep her up and bring her home!! If I could, I would. In one second! She’s gorgeous!!
Hope you’re doing well Sammy! You always amaze me!