This blog has been a hard one for me to write. I’ve started and stopped so many times and can’t seem to find the right words. Nobody wants to read a story that doesn’t have a happy ending. It’s worse when that story is real. When you pray for God to increase your faith, you forget that our faith grows through trials. Meeting Stephanie and taking her to the house was a trial. Praying and pleading with God to reveal what our next step was and deciding to take her to stay with her grandmother was another trial.
I thought that the trials were over after that. That after that would come the easy part where we bring her food, take her to the doctor when she is sick and get to watch her improve and get healthy. God had another plan. Stephanie went to be with the Lord five days after we took her to her grandmother’s house. This trial is still the hardest because the doubts creep in. Did we make the right choice? Did I take the easy way out? Would she still be alive if she stayed here with us?
The answers to these questions only God knows. I am trying to rest in the fact that we were able to provide Stephanie with a few good days on this earth with food in her belly, clean clothes, a warm bed and loving arms to hold her before she went to be with God forever in paradise.
There’s a line from a song called “If You Want Me To” that says, “You never said this would be easy, you only said I’d never go alone.” That keeps popping up in my mind. Things aren’t easy, but we are never alone. To me that doesn’t mean that God is just silently standing beside us. He is playing an active role. He’s guiding us, even when it seems like we are going the wrong way. Even when tragedy strikes, God is still at work. Romans 8:28 says “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Remember that when everything in your life seems to be spiraling out of control, God has His own less chaotic spiral that is causing everything to work out in your favor. God calls us on his path and he is with us through the winding roads of our life on this earth. I was blessed to have had Stephanie in my life even for such a short time and am thankful for how big of an impact she had on my life.